STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
