So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
