that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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