dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
