That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
