Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
