First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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