Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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