btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
