hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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