i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
