if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
