We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
