I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
