I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
