who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
