im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
