i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
handjob tips. give me some.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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