Well apparently he's into motor boating.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
And then he peed in my hair
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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