I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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