I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
