Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how does that bad decision feel?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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