You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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