Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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