There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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