last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
