Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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