Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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