no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im at strip club and am horny
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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