my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
