Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
