just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Terrible idea I love it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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