He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
