he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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