so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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