Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
