Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
