I heard we made out
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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