Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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