A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
