what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
