I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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