they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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