I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
