This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize