mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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