Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
