sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
