My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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