I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
