I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
