Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
