it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
