you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
