I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize