He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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