How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
