I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
