No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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