you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I need water and some morals
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
