Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
