He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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