She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
40s are totally the cure
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
