when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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