the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
