If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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