I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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