How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
